The Crusader II

Ad te clamamus exsules filii Evæ

Ad te suspiramus

gementes et flentes in hac lacrimarum valle

If you stay mourning and weeping in this valley of tears you can’t see clearly, you can’t make out the other reality through the curtains of this reality.

If I have faith - he asked himself - where did it come from? It births from the sufferance, from the impossibility of making out through this smokescreen. Et opera sua sine strepitu intus enarrat. And the more I love God the less I love humanity.

And Christ and his Mother are replenishing the faith by showing a great many works they stay behind.
When he heard that the Chancellor of Germany apologizing in front of her folk and declaring she has changed mind, his heart hopped. It had never happened such a situation.
But he knew why.
She had appeared haunted during the press conference. Tense. The tension, the conflict are the sign of the hand of God. Dostoevsky teaches it to us, he has shown it so clearly in his works, unmistakably the sign of God is the eternal conflict within man. It is an eternal begging with itself, the path that leads to God. And the face of the chancellor undoubtedly had the air of one who had for so long begged with herself.

He was thinking this while drinking a coffee standing up under the little metal awning of a sort of garden shed bar, located at the end of the square close to the traffic lights, to repair himself from the rain that has suddenly The rain had started off and it could only get worse

He watched people passing by and remembered that that was his favourite and d’antan way of staying in this world. He felt again free and back to the former reality, that now has dissolved.

People may think what they want. People may even think that what I do is not true, but what THEY do is real. THEY adore Satan, THEY love Satan, THEY practice the doctrine of Satan and with THEIR behaviour and actions, THEY brought the kingdom of Satan to this world.

He felt like in a paroxysm of self-castigation while looking with defiant resolution at that fierce rain that was no longer the rain he knew.

One of the first times the message was brought to him, had been a couple of summers before when he had met a guy.

A strange guy. He was pretending to come from the UK, he was Belgian and lived undercover, he used to say. Honestly, he didn't remember how he had met him. How it had happened that they had become friends, even though “friends" was a big word. Maybe, we should say, acquaintances. But, you know, in Vilnius, as Kristina Sabaliauskaitė, a Lithuanian writer, says Niekas šiame mieste nėra tai, kas gali pasirodyti iš pirmo žvilgsnio, nulla in questa città è come può sembrare a prima vista.

They used to meet and talk in Vokiečių gatvė, at Sugamour. A bit pretentious bar, slightly kitschy, but should we rethink now of those days we might say that it was the perfect place. It was the right bar at the right moment. The right atmosphere for the right situation.

They lived in a bogus situation; a bogus bar fitted them.
Nothing happens by chance. All happens because it is meant to happen because you wish and pray that that happens, or you live in such a dramatic, dystopic and entropic way that it inevitably happens.
He was listening to him that day at Sugamour. He talked like a little brat, with cunning little eyes twinkling at every word he spat out. He, Bertrand was his name, talked about an unknown universe, known only to a few selected people. His mouth appeared disarticulated because of the alcohol
There is a program in this world. He began. A very old program. A Luciferian program. In this program ordinary people are slaves. THEY use us. THEY suck our light away and then THEY lock us in slavery.
How did you get involved in the program? He asked.
Oh, it was many years ago. I was a youngster, roughly around 20.

That conversation, one the latest before Bertrand disappeared. He remembered it took place on a very hot day, on a day he remembered he was lazily strolling around the city. He was coming from Vilniaus gatvė and when he reached Vokiečių gatvė he perceived Bertrand from far. He recognized him by his typical stride. Bertrand limped.
Hi. Bertrand said when he was close to him.
Hi. he returned.
I was expecting to see someone.
And?
Apparently, he didn't come...It's too hot today...We must find somewhere to sit. I need to talk to you. I feel I am in danger. You must know the truth before I may disappear.
Sugamour? He asked.
Yes. Why not? Replied Bertrand.

They sat down at one of the tables outdoors, waiting for the waitress. Bertrand needed to talk. He noted it. Bertrand was nervous, exasperated, he started sipping his liqueur and continued. There is always one moment in life when the door opens and lets the future in and you change program. That was the moment for me. I was already prepared for that. I had already started doing a little of money. dealing in currencies, black money, no taxes, you know...when one of my partners in Bristol came and visited me and said: Bertrand, you are running around the clock daily with all your business...come with us in the big money trading, we have licenses, we can make enormous deals and big money. We work through offshores. Nothing on your name...that would be a great career for you...I was speechless. It was an incredible opportunity for me. No doubt. Yes, I want, I said greedily. What I have to do? I asked. Nothing, in particular, my partner responded, there is only one condition to observe. An absolute condition. Which one? I asked. You have to put your conscience in the freezer at -100 degrees. He said. That's all? I replied almost laughing. No problem. I can kill my conscience if you ask me...And I killed my conscience, indeed. And step by step I became a servant of the Big Money...without conscience.

At this point, Bertrand seemed lost. He stopped. His eyes swivelled round. He finally fixed them in an invisible direction.

What did I say? He asked blankly.
That you became a servant of the Big Money.
Oh, I remember. Yes...of course, it took me some years before reaching the higher levels, but it was extremely exciting. We worked with Russia, you know, secret services, they printed American dollars better than the real American dollars that were circulating from the Federal Reserve. Made in USSR. We got our assignment, our commissions. Our main assignment was to dump this money in the market through big drug dealers, arms dealers, all kind of criminal activity...He stopped...You can't trust the water, that’s why I need alcohol...He said watching the glass full of vodka and ice. He drank a lot. And it was hot. It was unbelievable that he could drink so much.

It's good to talk to you. Bertrand added.
Thanks. he said. Why?
You listen and don't interrupt me. I am lucky. If you meet at least one person in your life that listens to you, you are lucky. He took another gulp of his vodka and smiled almost foolishly.
Yes, I suppose so. He replied with little attention. Do you fear being shot? He blankly asked Bertrand.
Yes. That's why I change towns and countries relentlessly.
Where have you been before?
Many Places. Madrid, Lisbon, Marseille, Rome, Minsk...,
So, Bertrand, it's not your real name?
No, of course.
I imagine I cannot ask you what's your real name?
Better not.
Ok. I see. And then what happened?
That was just a way to put around millions of money. That was the easiest way to get this huge amount of dollars in the market. Through illegal channels, I told you...and that in the end triggered an economic war. It was part of the game. URSS versus USA and USA versus URSS. But I was not conscient of that at that time. I was young...Anyway, after the first assignments, THEY realized that I was a bright and smart guy and started inviting me for higher assignments. This means that I began to work as an independent doing the dirty work for banks, central banks, multinationals, governments, terrorist organizations and all secret services and...be strong...the Church. Jesuits.

They were seated outside the bar. On the floor, Bertrand had spilt some vodka and a narrow column of ants moved across the chairs to the little Vodka patch, they milled in it, moving on in a disorderly line, they seemed intoxicated.
He noticed that Bertrand had a scar on his jaw. He thought it witnessed a relic of a past he had escaped from.

That was not life. Spoke Bertrand. I thought it was life, but it wasn't.

He listened and said nothing.

And you know why THEY move all this money? I'll tell you. To start wars, to start all the misery in this world. Misery, it is not natural on this planet, it is created, they suck all the energy THEY can from people, from this world, and leave misery behind. THEY are the elite. 8.000 people more or less, that rule the world in the name of Lucifer. Can you believe this?
Lucifer?
Yes, Lucifer. THEY believe in Lucifer and enjoy destroying all life on this planet. And I was like THEM: shallow, greedy, hollow, and I really enjoyed destroying all life on this planet. Nature for me meant nothing. It was something I had to destroy. We hated everything that represented life. One of my assignments was destroying the economy of Italy, and I did it. And when there were people who were desperate because they had lost their companies, all they had and killed themselves, we had a big laugh. We enjoyed it. We enjoyed their sufferance, their unlucky lot.
But I was so good at my job, I was so wicked, that THEY thought to bring me to the last stage. And you know what was it?
No, tell me.
The sacrifice of children. That was too much, for me. That hit me! hurt me! That changed my lot. I didn't accept the last stage. I couldn't. I started to malfunction. And my all career fell apart...THEY noticed this. THEY feel no sympathy at all with the weakness of the flesh.

He noted that his eyes had become beady. His face had changed colour. Almost grey.

I will never forget those days. Went on Bertrand. You know, THEY took me out of the system for a while. Then THEY wanted everything back. All I had I owned THEM because I made it all through THEM. THEY kept reminding me of the contract, which I didn't have signed with blood, which would be the next step. If I had signed with blood, I would be already dead.
If you really believed in Sacrifice, you don't mind about the pain of a little life, in return for what you can receive from THEM. The immense richness and power THEY can give you.

Then what happened? he urged.

I did a step aside. I promised to not talk, to not mention names, persons, companies and so on...I am a gentleman. I am a man of word. It doesn't matter what sides you are on. The dark side or the light side. I left the business. For eight years I stayed out of the scenes. I used false identities and lived in different countries.
I was still young—about 28—and at that age, you are not afraid of many things, you are still full of hormones. You feel you are strong. Almost you think you are immortal.

Then as he appeared, Bertrand disappeared. But it was enough. His passing by confirmed once again that subtle redline someone said is coming from the Babylon times to nowadays and it throws us in a complete certainty that we are cast in the existence of a dying, cooling world, of human beings who have evolved from animals, for no purpose at all. And just a few of us are outside that flock of flowing sheep. Just a few of us are able to keep on the divine light within and grow in it.

And I am one of them. He began to think it, from that day on.

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