"I came to know God experientially, from being fucked in the ass—over and over and over again."
(Toni Bentley, The Surrender: An Erotic Memoir)
Eroticism is A WAY of seeing
Eroticism is the ability to reflect your individual/social values in what you feel when you are aroused.
Eroticism is the state about which an observer can pose questions and find answers about excitement (arousal).
Eroticism is potentiality, where you can find response to sexual instinct, before physical sex.
Putting questions determines the way one conceives sexual attraction. It determines the “Who I am” in sex. A sort of free will in the capacity of being aroused.
Eroticism is all the same for each observer?
Eroticism is not the same for everybody because it depends on your responses “Yes”, “No” regarding being aroused.
There is a misunderstanding, when eroticism is intended like creativity. Eroticism is creativity in terms of being able in getting responses from your instinct, about what arouses you. In doing this, you are linked to all the answers you gave yourself before, in the past (narrative).
Eroticism is pleasure, pleasure to be aroused. Pleasure that comes from the possibility you have to find responses to your instinct, before unleashing it.
Eroticism is a nonlocality-desire. You can have desire for something (you already have) and desire for something else (you don’t have yet). You can desire multiple things at the same time. Or, in other words, you yearn for the possibility to have (all) them.
Eroticism is a form of awareness. Eroticism distances the human mind from mere animal awareness regarding sexual copulation.
Eroticism is a central factor in the process of hominization. This process is the ground for questioning nature. The ground is versus nature, inner and outer, which provides us the way of seeing (awareness).
Is eroticism A cultural drive?
Eroticism manages information in patterns that create libidinous images based on individual sexual instinct(s).
“Bliss, I learned from being sodomized, is an experience of eternity in a moment of real time.”
(Toni Bentley, The Surrender: An Erotic Memoir)
Among animals sexuality is a primary urge serving procreation. Humans, on the other hand, have a sexual life through visualizing sexuality on the basis of their social/individual experiences (narrative-interference). The cultural drive (narrative-interference) determines the characteristic reactions to sexual stimuli in any and every situation in life.
Eroticism AS holographic obsession.
Sometimes eroticism can take on the holographic force of sadistic obsession, as in Junichiro Tanizaki:
Deep in his heart the young tattooer concealed a secret pleasure, and a secret desire. His pleasure lay in the agony men felt as he drove his needles into them, torturing their swollen, blood-red flesh; and the louder they groaned, the keener was Seikichi's strange delight. Shading and vermilioningthese are said to be especially painful—were the techniques he most enjoyed. (The Tattoer)
Deviations (because of interferences) FROM standard morality can breed eroticism.
Mishima in “Confession of a mask” admits that the first time he ejaculated was while masturbating to a painting of Saint Sebastian, which depicted not only a handsome Roman youth, but a handsome Roman youth being skewered by arrows to achieve martyrdom:
It is an interesting coincidence that Hirschfeld should place "pictures of St. Sebastian" in the first rank of those kinds of art works in which the invert takes special delight. This observation of Hirschfeld's leads easily to the conjecture that in the overwhelming majority of cases of inversion, especially of congenital inversion, the inverted and the sadistic impulses are inextricably entangled with each other.
Eroticism occurs WHEN an “act of consent” is given.
It consists of a process of consenting, or of allowing, the action(s) to become a part of the experienced communal reality.
When she closed her eyes she felt he had many hands, which touched her everywhere, and many mouths, which passed so swiftly over her, and with a wolflike sharpness, his teeth sank into her fleshiest parts. Naked now, he lay his full length over her. She enjoyed his weight on her, enjoyed being crushed under his body. She wanted him soldered to her, from mouth to feet. Shivers passed through her body.
(Anaïs Nin, Delta of Venus)
Global (post)feminism is demystifying eroticism.
In the struggle against ‘sexism’ (some) women demanded that we end the fetishization of their breasts and accept them as just another part of a woman’s body. One of the results of this struggle for ‘free nipples’ was that, in some big cities, groups of women organized protest walks where they were naked above the belt – the point was precisely to de-eroticize breasts. We are now entering the next logical step in this direction – the goal is now to ‘demystify’ the ultimate sexual object…So why not go to the end and ‘demystify’ and de-fetishize excrement?...
Doing so we risk to trigger a ‘repressive desublimation’ where our sex organs are desublimated (de-eroticized), and the result is not new freedom but a grey reality in which sex is totally repressed.
(from Slavoj Žižek)
Eroticism is sublimation of ordinary things. Demystifying is de-sublimation of ordinary things. Both depend on the position of the observer.
In an intense erotic interplay, one wrong word, one vulgar gesture suffices, and a violent de-sublimation occurs, we fall out of erotic tension into vulgar copulation. Imagine that, in the thrall of erotic passion, one takes a close look at the vagina of the beloved woman, trembling with the promise of anticipated pleasures, but then something happens, one as it were ‘loses contact,’ falls out of the erotic thrall, and the flesh in front of one’s eyes appears in all its vulgar reality, with the stench of urine and sweat, etc. (And it is easy to imagine the same experience with a penis.)
(from Slavoj Žižek)
What has happened? The vagina has ceased to be an erotic object and has become part of ordinary reality.
The realistically construed point of view about eroticism described in this little essay has three components:
1) a physically described universe of eroticism represented by an evolving stance
2) an ordered sequence of probing questions that arise in the minds of observers
3) a “nature” i.e. sexual stimuli, i.e. the ground for the probing questions posed by observers.
She had masturbated me on the table. With passion and excitement, with anger ... I felt myself in her hands. Helpless. I couldn’t react. I was caught. I was lost. She had my cock in her hands. She commanded. I obeyed. I didn't even exist. She was my mistress, my lady. My goddess. She was my destiny.
(Fabrizio Ulivieri, Rugile)
The ontological character of erotic reality is more mind-like than matter-like. Because the observers, being possessors of thoughts, ideas, and feelings, reflect their “mental stance” in sex.
- Why do you do this job (prostitute)?
- Because I like it
(Fabrizio Ulivieri, Rugile)
Hence eroticism is more like “an idea” about instincts, which rapidly changes like an idea does, when new information becomes available.
There were two forces that gave her a valid reason to exist. Love for that man, love for him, and energy, the overpowering force that came from the cocks.
(Fabrizio Ulivieri, Rugile)
Therefore eroticism is never what was it before. Eroticism you live in each event differs from the eroticism that existed just before that event.
You know when you are attracted to some, there is a chemical thing you can’t really explain it. The minute this man ever touched me for the first time, I didn’t know his name, there was a chemical reaction in my body. And this then lead him being the first man who ever sodomized me […] I was shocked when he did it, I was amazed, he didn’t ask, he just did it but he did it wonderfully and I have to say it changed my life. It taught me how to really surrender (Toni Bentley video interview)
Eroticism is a free choice, which means that this choice is not fully determined by the material aspects of reality alone, but is influenced by an input coming from the mind of the observer.
Q: What I found interesting about your whole sexual experience with this man was that you see you were madly in love with him for five years but you absolutely refused to have any kind of social relations with him. You refused for a film, you refused to share a meal, you had no common friends, it was like a cocoon of sexual experience. Why was that? What you were afraid of?
A: I am afraid of reality, because reality, eventually, usually sooner than later, ruins an erotic relationship…that excitement that magical thing that happens that we are programmed for it, biologically, and it happens because we’re humans with consciousness it becomes as it can…becomes a spiritual thing…that incredible connection you have and then, within time, whether it’s a week, six months, two years, it goes away. I am so interested in the high of that that I wanted to learn how to make it not to go away and one of the ways to do that, one of the component, is keeping reality out…stability in a relationship doesn’t promote erotic excitement. (Toni Bentley video interview)
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