Hours after my decision, I felt the undeniable reason that my life had begun to change with strangely aligned sensations. The only hesitation that made me wonder the morning when I got up was whether everything did not spring from the fictional leanings of my mind.
After so many years I felt myself in my body. Before I was myself in someone else's body.
Could it be true?
For months and month after month, I had realized that a change was inevitable. for all was nonsense. Living like that was nonsense. The pain I suffered every day was nonsense.
I couldn't handle my ineptitude in not finding a solution to my suffering. Above all because I knew what the solution was. I had to stop eating.
Maybe had nothing to do with my real problem, but I wound up asking myself if my decision about stopping eating was according to the Zeitgeist or against it.
When you think and when you talk you never think or talk aside from the times you live in. The way I talked and thought in the Seventies was not the same as in the Eighties.
Perhaps was it a given and forced solution to my problems because of the dearth of great spirits and flatness of brains and crooked ideas of the age we were experiencing that my decision was bound to?
Stop eating meant preventing the world outside enter me? Was that the hidden meaning of my decision?
It could be. I was not sure though. But on the second day of my fasting, I knew that my inner world was severely cut from the outer world, and I was finally recovering my body, and myself in my body.
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